My dog is a serial killer

I just found out my amazing, beautiful silky black hound dog is a serial killer. Yes, you heard me right. She is an outright murderer! And today, I caught her in the act of disemboweling an innocent. The poor little chipmunk had no chance.
I am sure, somewhere out there, is a pile of chipmunk and squirrel bones and rotting bodies, just waiting to be found so their loved ones can find peace.

Maura the Merciless has struck again.

Why I love T-Mobile

So today during school I, for some unknown reason, decided it would be a wonderful idea to drop my unlocked touch-screen phone into my purse. About an hour later, when I realized I hadn't received a single phone call or text from anyone I wondered what could have happened. As a rummaged through my purse, searching desperately for my cellular life-line, horrendous thoughts ran amok through my head. Nobody loved me anymore, small meteors had rained from the sky, killing everyone who would even remotely consider calling me.
My fingers wrapped around the cold plastic in triumph. With a cheer on my lips, I quickly slipped open my innovated, top-of-the-line Samsung Galaxy-T. My cheer turned into a wail of horror.
What is this!?! No! It couldn't be! My wonderful, beautiful phone had rebelled. It was asking me for my pin. What pin? My birthday? No- and to make matters worse, it started laughing at me while counting down my attempts. 0000? No! One attempt left... I started sweating, fear creeped up my spine. I chewed my nails down to the quick as I tried desperately to think of what my pin could possibly be. And then it hit me! I felt so stupid. Just like in starting up a voicemail, it normally takes the last four digits of your cell number. I typed in 8827, a smug smile on my face, knowing I had outsmarted my phone. My phone's screen went black, and then emitted a loud screeching sound before coming back with, "To many attempts. Phone Locked. Contact Customer Care for assistance."

WHAT?????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not ashamed to admit it, I cried in the middle of the Kent State University Campus while clutching my phone to my chest in utter dispair. Why me? I had an entire class to sit through, my phone is screeching at me, and to make matters worse, my computer battery was dead and I had forgotten my charger.

My body shut down in fatigue and sorrow, so I slept through my Human Evolution class, then sped home to try and call T-Mobile to see if they could unlock my phone for me.

Here is a fun game to try. Grab a stopwatch, Go to T-Mobile.com, and time yourself to see how long it takes you to find a customer support number.
I called three numbers, each time the tech support people would tell me to call a different number with my problem. Finally I get a hold of someone who is willing to help.
"Thank you for calling T-Mobile, this is Tara, how can I help you?"
"My phone is torturing me! Please help me! It is trying to destroy my life!"
"Okay, can I have your name?"
"Monica."
"Well Monica, it looks like you're not on this account you are calling about."
"It's my poppy's account."
"Well then, have your poppy call us."

So, I had to have my dad call T-Mobile for me, which was more humiliating that crying on campus.

 I get a call a little later from another T-Mobile support guru who can't speak English. She creates a three-way call with me, daddy-o and her and goes over what I need to do.
"Okey, entwer dis pin number intwo da keypad. 55055462446523PIN5PIN#."

"Uhhh.. okay? How long does my pin have to be?" I ask.
Minimum eigth chareectors," she slurs.
"Riiiiight. Okay." ... "It isn't working." Frusteration starts to set in.

"Okey, you sure you have 5550546 blahblahblah?"

"Yes."

"Try again."

"Not working."

"Okey, tell me back number I give you."

"55505blahblahblah.."

"What? No! I sed star! Star, star, star, 0, star." Her accent gets heavier the more irritated she gets, Lucky me.

"Okay miss.. what the hell is a star? You mean asterik?"

"Yesh, asteereek."

"Apparently I am an idiot for not speaking broken english. sorry."

So I switch my 5's for astericks.

"Not working."

"You have Star, star, star, 0 star?"

"Bitch, I want to knife you. I mean, yes, I have star star star 0 star."

"And pin is 8 chareectors?"

"Yes, my pin is eight CHARACTERS."

"Okay. well think of pin as something easy to remember. lieek your birfday. or 1, 2, 3, 4, 5."

This is when my dad has finally had enough.
"Ma'am," my dad cuts in- always the polite gentleman. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, is only five characters. I thought you said she needed eight?"

"What? Ohhhh.. yeesh, I meant eight. 1, 2, 3, 4, 8."

"Daaaaad... can I kill her?"

Long story less long, she was unable to help me and had to transfer me to someone else. While I was in transit, I tried the code with only a four-digit pin. It unlocked.

This is why I love T-Mobile.